What's not so good about being a mother is realizing you're not the mother you wish you could be.
I saw the teacher's note in my son's diary about how he he failed to submit 3 homeworks. Meanwhile, my other son failed yet again to submit his HELE project on time. I realized just then how unmindful I have become about my sons' schoolwork. I haven't been giving them enough supervision and attention. In short, I got so lazy.
When I get home, I feel so spent I just want to cuddle with the baby and listen to funny stories from the boys. I want the warm and fuzzy side of parenting but I couldn't be bothered with the messy stuff such as homework.
There's no excuse for this. I'm a working mom but my work is not so much the demanding type. I could come to work much earlier than my usual and come home earlier so I would still have the energy for the messy stuff. But there's really something about weekday mornings that make me want to stay glued to bed. So. Be late for work = get home late = not enough time and energy to spend with the boys.
How you start your day can really become a dealbreaker (if you can call it that for mom-kid relationship)
But I digress.
What I'm saying is I'm shortchanging the boys. I'm not trying hard enough. I'm being irresponsible, making poor choices, like on how to spend my time. and money (that's another layer of guilt. will tackle that separately).
I get fascinated by the super efficient moms who seem to have enough time and energy for everything - work, home, kids, business. They seem to tackle everything excellenty while I settle for so-so.
I guess I need a serious reformatting. An upgrade would be even better. But hoping for these things and confessing my guilt are not going to make me a better mom.
So why don't I start with the waking up early. Yes?
